Dear Life,

What a journey you have been on thus far. I wish I could say it has been a walk in the poppy fields of Southern California on a beautiful spring day where the sky is blue with the softest puffs of white clouds. Alas, it was not to be. Had you been, what lessons would I have learned? What experiences would I have gained? What stories would I have to tell? What silly antics would I have missed out on in the toy section at the local Walmart? Oh how I love to grab a light saber and a stick pony to commence in a battle royale with the kids only to fall on the floor and pretend to be a dying cockroach when destroyed by my opponent. 

You saw a childhood scattered with love and hate, good times as well as bad. I have lived with both family and foster family. You have sent me down rabbit holes and led me off the righteous path. You also blessed me with four brat babies who have filled my heart with tremendous love and gratitude. You have given me scholarly success and marital failure. You have made me feel. Feel a love so pure my eyes were filled with tears of joy and my heart felt like it would burst because of the immensity of it all. 

You have also left me in the deepest pits of despair. Life, you are not always easy. There were times I attempted to end you, but God would not let me. I had wished to leave this earth on my own accord, BUT GOD would not let me. He led me in another direction. He helped me learn to live with a mental disorder. He showed me that you life, you could be more than the sum of all the negatives. He showed me redemption and grace. He showed me that you are meant to be lived for Him and that is pretty damn amazing!!

Sincerely,
Rambling Roxy