Dear People,

I would like to say I am a terrible Christian.  Why you might be wondering?  Well that’s simple. I am a sinner. I’ve lied, cheated, stolen, lost my temper, like beer, cussed like a sailor, judged, and I’m a huge chocolate lovin’ hussy. Once… okay, okay it was three times I turned my back on God. The second time I even threw away my bible that I had since forever. Threw it away! I claimed I didn’t believe in God. It was a bad time, people, a bad time. I finally hit the bottom of my slop bucket. I seriously thought I’d lost all chance of salvation because of those dark times. Luckily, I heard a sermon about Jesus’ own best friend turning his back on him and denying Him three times. Jesus still came to him in love and forgave him. I have heard that scripture a hundred times, but that day it just clicked and I knew I was still a child of God.  

I am not the gal who goes to church on Sunday and feels like I’m good to go for the rest of the week because I heard a good sermon. I am the gal who knows she is unworthy of salvation, but because “God so loved” I have it. I need constant reminders. I read my bible, I watch Elevation Church’s Pastor Steven preach on YouTube in the morning as I get ready for the day and I listen to Christian music just to keep myself in check. Even with all of that, dangit if I don’t still slip up. I’m still a sailor most days, “shit” leaves my mouth at least once a day. Some days I have that one nerve that everybody is still  dry humping and gets this red head flaming. Even with all my downfalls, I still love me some Jesus. 

I LOVE going to  church and singing praise and worship, albeit it is loud and off key but I don’t care because I want to sing my little heart out for the Man who bled for me. I’m the chick who usually can’t make it through a sermon without tearing up because I believe in the Word of God and it touches my whole being with great force. Admittedly,  sometimes I’m in the hot seat. Oh yea, God calls me out…A lot (*sigh). I’m also that gal who leaves church loving God, trying to do right, but will always be a sinner. I screw up, people, all the time. It’s not ok, but it’s okay because His grace is enough. Let me just say this, it really rocks knowing that God loves me for me. I will always sin (thanks for that, evil serpent of death), but God will always love me and forgive me when I repent. 

Since sin will always plague me, all I can do is try to be the version of myself that God calls me to be. I will listen to hear. I will try to discern God’s journey for my life.  I am full of love and will try to love everyone as Christ loves me. I guarantee God loves everyone and will hold out until our very last breath in hopes that we will believe in His son for our salvation just so we can be reunited with him. That is pretty fantastical stuff there, people. Pacheezits, I get all giddy and eeeesided about Him. 

Sincerely,

Rambling Roxy