Dear Parent bods,
I’m a little disgusted by the unfairness between mom bods and dad bods. Dad bods are far more attractive than the mom bods. The dad bod is the perfect mix of belly and muscle, soft, yet hard… sexiness. Whereas, the mom bod consists of sagging breasts that were once working girls, the baby belly flap or as I like to call mine, the four baby joey pouch and of course stretch marks galore. I mean, what is up with the stretch marks in my inner thighs? The working girls… yeah they have stretch marks too thanks to them swelling four times their normal size as they furnished milk for the brat babies. Now those once supple breasts look like cow udders when you lean forward and ski slopes if you lay on your side. Every morning you practically have to roll ‘em, lick ‘em and stick ‘em before dawning a brassiere.
Women find dad bods attractive. It’s the new “in” thing. Women no longer want the body building man with veins popping out of his flesh. They want a man with strong arms and legs with a bit of a belly pooch. He is strong enough to lift you up and carry you. He can provide protection. BUT, that man is not afraid to sit down and eat ice cream straight out of the container with you. He is active and enjoys a good workout, however, he is not spending three hours a day at the gym lifting weights so heavy he might blow an O ring. He is also the guy who will coach soccer for his kids and directly after the game be ready for a stadium style hotdog. That is sexy!
A dad looks sexy walking around in nothing but his boxer briefs. A mom sporting her panties and bra with the joey pouch hang over and jiggly body parts doesn’t have the same effect. While women are checking out the men with dad bods, you don’t see very many men checking out a mom bod. Nah, they are too busy checking out the young perky, fit bods. I feel like this is why some men who go through a midlife crisis end up dating women half their age. It is very rare you hear about a woman dating someone half their age. It could be because moms can be insecure about their bodies after childbirth.
Why do moms get insecure? We brewed a child for nine months! We created a life! All that dads do is make a one time deposit. We do all the hard work. We should flaunt our mom bod and receive appreciation from men. That is easier said than done, but dang, do I give kudos to all the moms who strut, unabashedly, of their mom bods. You ladies rock! I hope more moms follow suit. Maybe then mom bods will become the “in” thing.
Sincerely,
Rambling Roxy